Addressing Wedding Invitations: Proper Etiquette for Every Situation

When it comes to wedding planning, the details matter, and nowhere is this more true than with your invitations. They're the first glimpse your guests will have of your big day, setting the tone for what's to come.

But before you can charm your guests with the design and paper quality, there's a practical question to answer: how do you properly address them? From married couples with different last names to doctors, military officers, and tricky plus-one situations, this guide covers the proper etiquette for every scenario.

Wedding Invitation Addressing: Quick Rules

Here's a quick reference for the most common situations. Scroll down for detailed examples and formatting rules for each.

Situation	How to Address
Married couple, same last name	Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
Married couple, different last names	Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. John Smith
Unmarried couple living together	Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. John Smith (separate lines)
Family with children	The Smith Family (or list names)
Single guest with plus-one	Ms. Jane Doe and Guest
Doctor	Dr. Jane Doe and Mr. John Smith
Two doctors	Drs. Jane and John Smith
Military officer	Captain John Smith, US Navy

General Rules for Addressing Wedding Invitations

Before diving into specific scenarios, here are the foundational rules that apply across all situations:

• Use formal titles: Traditional etiquette calls for titles (Mr., Mrs., Ms., Dr., etc.) followed by first and last names. This applies even if you're close with the guest.

• Always include surnames: "Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Doe" is more appropriate than "John and Jane." Surnames prevent confusion and add formality.

• Spell out words: Write "Street" instead of "St." and "Apartment" instead of "Apt." for the most formal approach.

• Be consistent: Whatever style you choose (formal or casual), apply it across all invitations. Mixing styles can confuse guests about the tone of your wedding.

How to Address Married Couples

Married couple with the same last name

This is the most traditional format. The husband's full name typically follows "Mr. and Mrs."

• Correct: Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

• Also acceptable: Mr. and Mrs. Smith

• Also acceptable: Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Smith

• Avoid on formal invitations: Mr. & Mrs. Smith (ampersand is too informal)

Married couple with different last names

When spouses have kept their own surnames, list both names with their respective titles. Traditionally, the woman's name comes first, but you can also list the person you're closer to first.

• Correct: Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. John Smith

• Also acceptable: Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Doe

How to Address Unmarried Couples

For couples who live together but aren't married, list each person on their own line. This shows they're being invited together while acknowledging they don't share a household title.

• Correct:

  • Ms. Jane Doe

  • Mr. John Smith

List names alphabetically by last name, or put the person you're closer to first.

Same-sex couples

For same-sex couples, the same rules apply as for any other couple. If married with the same last name, use "Mr. and Mr." or "Mrs. and Mrs." For different last names, list alphabetically or by closeness.

• Correct: Mr. and Mr. John Smith

• Correct: Mr. John Doe and Mr. James Smith

How to Address Families with Children

When inviting an entire family, you have a few options depending on the formality of your wedding and whether you're using inner envelopes.

Simple approach (outer envelope only)

• Correct: The Smith Family

This works well for casual weddings or when you're inviting all children in the household.

Formal approach (outer + inner envelope)

• Outer envelope: Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

• Inner envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Michael, David, and Sarah

List children's first names on the inner envelope. Children over 18 should receive their own invitation.

When only parents are invited (no children)

If children aren't invited, address the invitation only to the parents. Don't use "The Smith Family." You can clarify on your RSVP card or wedding website with a line like: "We have reserved 2 seats in your honor."

How to Address Guests with Professional Titles

How to address doctors on wedding invitations

Professional titles like "Dr." should be used regardless of whether the degree is medical, dental, or academic (PhD). The person with the title is typically listed first.

If one spouse is a doctor:

• Correct: Dr. Jane Smith and Mr. John Smith

If both spouses are doctors with the same last name:

• Correct: Drs. Jane and John Smith

• Also acceptable: Dr. Jane Smith and Dr. John Smith

If both spouses are doctors with different last names:

• Correct: Dr. Jane Doe and Dr. John Smith

How to address military wedding invitations

Military titles take precedence and should include the branch of service. The service member's full title and branch come first.

• Correct: Captain John Smith, US Navy, and Mrs. Jane Smith

• Correct: Colonel Jane Doe, US Army, and Mr. John Doe

For couples where both have professional titles (e.g., one military, one doctor), list each person with their full title:

• Correct: Captain John Smith, US Navy, and Dr. Jane Doe

Mr. and Mrs. Etiquette: Formatting Rules

Whose name goes first on a wedding invitation?

Traditionally, "Mr. and Mrs." is followed by the husband's full name. However, modern etiquette is more flexible. Here are your options:

• Traditional: Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

• Modern alternative: Mrs. Jane Smith and Mr. John Smith

• Informal: Jane and John Smith

How to write Mr. and Mrs. correctly

• Formal: Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

• Avoid: Mr. & Mrs. Smith (ampersand is too casual for formal invitations)

• Avoid: Mr and Mrs Smith (missing periods)

Plus-Ones and "And Guest" Etiquette

When to use "and guest"

Use "and Guest" when you want to give a single guest the option to bring a date, but you don't know the date's name.

• Correct: Ms. Jane Doe and Guest

When to include the partner's name

If you know your guest is in a serious relationship, it's more courteous to include their partner's name rather than using "and Guest."

• Better: Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. John Smith

When no plus-one is offered

If a guest isn't getting a plus-one (budgets and venue sizes are real!), simply address the invitation to them alone—no "and Guest." You can clarify on your RSVP card with: "We have reserved 1 seat in your honor."

Modern Wedding Invitation Addressing (When Etiquette Can Bend)

Traditional etiquette provides a solid foundation, but modern weddings often call for flexibility. Here are some situations where the "rules" can adapt.

Chosen names and titles

Always use the name and title your guest uses. If someone goes by a chosen name rather than their legal name, use their chosen name. If a guest uses Mx. or prefers no title, honor that preference.

Divorced parents

Divorced parents should each receive their own invitation unless they're on very good terms and share a household. Address each invitation to the individual: "Ms. Jane Doe" and separately "Mr. John Smith."

Widows and widowers

A widow may still use her late husband's name ("Mrs. John Smith") or her own first name ("Mrs. Jane Smith"). When in doubt, ask a family member or go with the name she currently uses socially.

Cultural considerations

Naming conventions vary across cultures. Some cultures list family names first, others have different honorifics, and some don't use titles at all. When addressing guests from different cultural backgrounds, research the appropriate format or ask someone close to the guest.

Tips for Addressing Wedding Invitations

• Start with a spreadsheet: Before picking up a pen, create a spreadsheet with everyone's full name, title, and address. It'll save you when you're knee-deep in envelopes.

• Double-check names and spellings: Nothing says "oops" like misspelling someone's name. Call your mom, your partner's mom, or that friend from college to verify.

• Stay consistent: Choose formal or casual and stick with it across all invitations.

• Keep addresses updated: If you're collecting guest addresses digitally or managing changes over time, a tool like Daisy Chat can help you keep everything organized in one place.