How to Tell Wedding Guests What to Wear (With Polite Wording Examples)

Walking down the aisle should be the only thing you're nervous about on your wedding day, not worrying whether Uncle Bob will show up in Bermuda shorts. That's why nailing how to tell wedding guests what to wear can be as important as choosing the right cake flavor.

But how do you communicate "Semi-Formal" or "Garden Party" attire without sounding too controlling or so vague that guests show up confused? Below, you'll find practical tips and copy-pasteable wording examples to make dress code communication clear and gracious.

Polite Ways to Tell Wedding Guests What to Wear

The key to communicating your dress code is being specific without being demanding. Here are wording examples you can adapt for your invitation, wedding website, or both.

Black-Tie or Black-Tie Optional

"The evening will be black-tie optional. Tuxedos and formal gowns are welcome, but dark suits and cocktail dresses are perfectly appropriate."

Formal or Semi-Formal

"We're keeping things elegant but not overly formal. Think cocktail dresses and suits, no need for floor-length gowns or tuxes."

Garden Party or Outdoor Wedding

"The ceremony and reception will take place outdoors on grass. We recommend wedges, flats, or block heels because stilettos may sink!"

Beach Wedding

"The celebration will be held on the sand. Lightweight fabrics and comfortable footwear are encouraged. Feel free to skip the tie!"

Casual or Relaxed

"Come as you are! Sundresses, khakis, and open collars are all welcome. The vibe is relaxed and celebratory."

Themed Weddings

"We're celebrating 1920s style! Flapper dresses, suspenders, and vintage accessories encouraged, but don't stress if you'd rather keep it simple."

When You Don't Want Guests to Wear White

"We kindly ask that guests avoid wearing white, ivory, or cream, as we want to make sure the bride stands out!"

Be Specific on Your Wedding Invitation

Your invitation is your guests' first glimpse into your wedding vibe. When mentioning the dress code, clarity prevents confusion:

• Name the dress code explicitly. "Black-Tie Optional," "Beach Casual," or "Garden Formal" tells guests exactly what level of formality you're expecting.

• Mention any colors or styles to avoid. If you don't want guests wearing white, say so clearly, either on the invitation or your wedding website.

• For themed weddings, give guests an out. Suggest how they can incorporate the theme, but make it clear that participation is optional.

Add Details to Your Wedding Website

Your wedding website is the perfect place to give guests more context than an invitation allows. Include a dedicated "Dress Code" or "Attire" section with:

• Do's and Don'ts. A simple list helps guests understand what's acceptable and what's not.

• Shoe recommendations. This is especially important for outdoor venues. Nobody wants to spend the night with heels sinking into grass.

• Weather and venue considerations. If there are both indoor and outdoor portions, let guests know what to expect and how to dress for transitions.

• The "why" behind the dress code. Sharing the reason (whether it's a theme, venue requirement, or personal preference) turns a dress code from a demand into part of the wedding story.

Use Visuals to Your Advantage

Some guests need to see it to understand it. Consider adding a link to a Pinterest board or mood board with outfit examples that match your wedding style. Include a variety of options (e.g., dresses, suits, separates, shoes) so guests can find something that flatters their body type and comfort level.

A picture is worth a thousand words, and a well-curated mood board might just prevent a thousand fashion faux pas.

Dress Code Questions Guests Commonly Ask

No matter how clear you are, guests will have questions. Here are the most common ones, and how to answer them.

What does "black-tie optional" actually mean?

It means formal attire is encouraged but not required. Men can wear a tuxedo or a dark suit; women can wear a formal gown or an elegant cocktail dress. The key word is "optional"; guests shouldn't feel underdressed in a nice suit or dress.

Can guests wear white to a wedding?

Traditional etiquette says no, as white is reserved for the bride. If you feel strongly about this, mention it on your wedding website. That said, some couples genuinely don't mind, so it's up to you.

Are jeans ever acceptable at a wedding?

Only if the dress code explicitly allows them (like "casual" or "come as you are"). When in doubt, guests should err on the side of dressing up. Dark jeans with a blazer can work for very casual celebrations, but it's safer to ask.

What shoes should guests wear for outdoor weddings?

Block heels, wedges, or flats are safest for grass, sand, or uneven terrain. Stilettos will sink, and uncomfortable guests won't enjoy the dance floor. Include this tip on your wedding website if your venue is outdoors.

What if guests are unsure what fits the dress code?

They'll ask, usually by texting you or your partner directly. If you'd rather not field the same questions over and over, tools like Daisy Chat can handle dress code questions automatically, giving guests instant answers based on your wedding details without putting you on the spot.

Let Daisy Chat Handle the Questions

Here's the reality: no matter how clearly you communicate your dress code, guests will still text you. "What does black-tie optional mean?" "Can I wear white?" "What should I wear to an outdoor ceremony?"

Daisy Chat acts as a dress code FAQ layer between you and your guests. It automatically answers attire questions based on your wedding details (including explaining what your dress code means, suggesting outfit ideas, and gently clarifying wedding etiquette), all without you having to respond to the same questions fifteen times.

Try Daisy Chat today.